A few days ago I took part in an induction of new members for the global non-state organization of AIESEC. The previous day had been such a crappy one. It had been my name day and also the day I had a huge fight with a close friend. It was so cruel and unfair but you know I’ve experienced way worse and I am used to people, and life in general, being awful to me so I cannot be brought down so easily anymore…”When it’s just one of many bullets, you will bite, while waiting for a ray of light…”
And talking about a ray of light, let’s get back to the induction now…! I’ve learnt so much and although I was a little sad and upset, in no time I felt better and I had a big smile on my face! Almost a year ago, when I’d left my theatrical group, I’d felt like I could never have something similar again to fulfill me and I had been very sad for a long time. But who knew that AIESEC would come in my life and would actually be even better? It is such a much more meaningful cause to be a part of!
In this first induction we talked about leadership and I was asked to choose the approach that I was better at: problem solving, being a world citizen, self awareness or empowering others. Before this terrible fight, I would have chosen the empowerment for sure. But that day, after what had happened, I questioned myself. I love making others feel comfortable and good about themselves, but I had miserably failed my friend, that’s for sure. So, I went with my gut and chose self-awareness. I know who I am, my weaknesses and my strengths. I have found the things that I am most passionate about. I feel comfortable in my own skin and I believe in me. I dream big and I seize the day! So, I wore my ‘self awareness’ tag proudly on my chest!
Another thing I heard at the induction and really stuck in my head was the following. We were talking about taking risks when one of the project managers said: “Once you step out of your comfort zone, it’s a lot easier to do it again. It actually becomes something addictive. Taking risks makes you thirsty for even more risks. You cannot settle, you want more.” And that is absolutely true! When you start taking chances, you want more; more risks, more adventure and more craziness in your life. Because you gradually become self-confident, fulfilled and happy!
Creating an instagram account, and after that, this blog, were minor risks for me. But guess what happened today. Ray Brown’s account followed me after liking and commenting on my reposted photo featuring one of his garments. He even went so far as to write a second comment addressing me with my first name, not my username! It may sounds irrelevant to you, but it made my day. I mean it wasn’t Tom Ford (my all time favorite designer!) but still…! Ray Brown’s company does what I dream of doing! He has been dressing rockstars for over 30 years! He is currently based in London and dresses musicians such as Alex Turner and Miles FUCKING Kane!!! I’m seriously considering sending him my resume via mail. I mean why not? The worst case scenario is he will never answer. So what? There is no way for me to make it and do what I love, if I don’t take certain risks like this one.
So, I realized that everything begins with knowing who you are and what you want and in order to do that, you need to take some risks. And it’s the only way to be happy, because if you cannot help or change yourself, then how can you change your life or help others or even make this world better? “I’m starting with the man in the mirror and I’m asking him to change his ways, and no message could have been any clearer, if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change!” sang Michael Jackson and that is what I taught my amazing students this week! I taught them to love themselves and embrace all their virtues and vices, to love life and to be brave. Because we are all equal, beautiful and we deserve to be happy! (Credits to the inspirational Lady Gaga!)
And that changed my mind about my ‘lack of talent’ to empower others. I’ve come to the realization that if you know who you are and have self-confidence, then you can certainly empower others. Or at least you can try; the success of your attempts does not lie in your hands anyway. I can’t solve everybody’s problems, because they are not my problems and because everybody has to stand up for himself. If somebody is unhappy, that is his problem and nobody else’s. I always look at myself first, deal with my own problems, correct my own mistakes and then try to help others. But I can’t help somebody if he doesn’t even try to help himself. It’s impossible and meaningless.
And of course not everybody appreciates your help. And you know what? I give no fuck about all the people who are filled with hate and ingratitude and enjoy criticizing others, so that they can feel better about themselves. They can take all this hate, ingratitude and harsh criticism and shoved up their asses. I am fed up with insecure miserable people and I give no fucks for what they think about me.
I absolutely love and embrace who I am. Sounds cocky and selfish? I give no fucks.
At least I am honest and straightforward. I say what I want and when I want to say it. I am not hiding. I am not weak and I don’t envy or blame others for everything that goes wrong in my life. I respect myself and I respect others, although rarely do others respect me. But it’s ok. Because life is far too short and it’s a shame to humiliate our precious moments. Be kind. Don’t disrespect or drag other people down. If you want a change, go and make one. Open up your eyes and see what you are missing out of. Be who you want to be and do it now.
A few years ago I read an article with 14 steps everyone needs to take in order to be happy. I was so fascinated that I wrote down all the steps and I keep revisiting them from time to time. I also remember some of the steps by heart and I totally believe they are absolutely true.
Step 5 said: “Don’t take everything seriously. The things that are truly important in life are so few. And being serious all the time makes us look completely ridiculous.”
Step 9 said: “Get rid of anything or anyone that oppresses you, depresses you and does not let you fly. Get rid of the liars, the flatterers, the prudes, the ungrateful, the quarrelsome, the lazy, the useless, the weak, the fat and the ugly people in your life. You are in danger of being assimilated in such a troublesome environment”.
Because you know family, friends, boyfriends and girlfriends are our reflections. And we all have certain values we live by, and we want the people close to us to respect them. I personally cannot stand or understand pessimists. I found their need to blame the world, to bring other people down and to impose their unhappiness on others, absolutely absurd. I also can’t stand people who depend on others because they can’t depend on themselves. You cannot demand things from others. We only have control over ourselves. People who attack other people because they’re unhappy disgust me. I’ve been through so much pain over the past months, but I’ve NEVER tried to hurt or bring other people down.
And I can’t stand those who are miserable all the fucking time. I mean seriously if you’re unhappy, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! We live the life we choose. PERIOD.
Try being pleasant for a change…
Like I have quoted before “Never get tired of searching for Beauty in your life”. Beauty not Ugliness. Kill the ugliness and make your life beautiful. Make the first move towards a positive change and the rest will come. And then keep coming…It’s addictive, remember? I highly recommend watching the TEDx Talk by the inspiring Sakis Tanimanidis – The definition of YOLO, where he says: “Be more open to risks and don’t be afraid of failure. The greatest risk (and in my opinion the greatest failure) is to take no risks at all. Start taming the waves today. Because you only live once.” And now I have to stop, because I realized how sick it is that I have quoted too many people on a single post.
Search for love and beauty people! Take risks, start living, be open and kind because you never know who you are hurting (yourself included). It’s simple, just smile and give tons of love!!! YOLO!